In the United States, as of April of 2017, 19% of people are using online dating or dating apps, and 84% of those people are looking for a romantic relationship. The dating industry brought in over $3 billion in 2017, with the Match.com app bringing in $2.1 million in one month alone!

And yet, over 1,000 people search the words “dating sucks” every month on Google.

Despite our technological advances and having access to resources that are meant to bring people together, people still report that they are struggling to find romantic relationships.

As a dating therapist in San Francisco who works with singles of all ages daily, if you are struggling — you are not alone! Today I want to share three pieces of advice that can help you change your dating outlook in 2019 (and the rest of 2018).

Dating Tip #1: Uncover the What and Why of Your DatingDamns

You can only go on so many bad dates before you start to wonder: Is it me? The truth is, while it is absolutely true that a LOT of your dating woes are impacted by the person you are currently getting to know, there is more in your control than you might realize. A DatingDamn is one of those places that keeps you blocked from flowing into a great relationship, and redirects your energy back into the same old patterns that keep you unhappy.

Could a good friend (or you) easily identify your DatingDamn which keeps you stuck? The type of person you are uncannily drawn to, or the dynamic you seem to inexplicably find no matter where you go or who you talk to, or the way you always find something wrong with people who you were initially attracted to? That is your DatingDamn!

Sidenote: I get this question all the time — Is it a Dating Dam as in a blockage that keeps the dating flow from happening? Or is it a Dating Damn as in “Damn, this dating pattern is really, really frustrating?” Technically, it’s both! But I find that my dating therapy clients resonate with and remember “DatingDamns” so I stick with that.

1. Guys looking for a little action should check out the free dating sites and apps out there. While the free apps and sites are not 100% legit, they can provide a great place to meet people, and if they are legit and legitimate, you’ll be set for a happy and fulfilling life. These dating sites aren’t just for women either.
2. Latina – 36 – 36 – 35. Looking to play outside at night or on the back seat for fun 6 3, vaccinated and clean of everything, recently tested, 9in thick dck ready to bang, healthy and can stay hard. Men Looking for Women Las Vegas. I love older women – 31.

Well, right now, Hinge is the best dating site. It seems to fit my personality, or the personalities I find online. I like that the sign-up process takes 10 minutes, and that I can keep an eye on what the profiles of people are. If I was more like Digg, and wanted to check out all the profiles I could find, I wouldn’t be so overwhelmed. Not Acting Black is the Most Important Rule for Dating a Black Womanyou are an idiot and a moron if you do this.even a little. Not Seeing Her as a Hoe is the Second Most Important Rule for Dating a Black Womanwhy would you date a hoeif you see her that way, you’ve got bigger problems and need some professional help.as in therapy 7. Latina – 36 – 36 – 35. Looking to play outside at night or on the back seat for fun 6 3, vaccinated and clean of everything, recently tested, 9in thick dck ready to bang, healthy and can stay hard. Men Looking for Women Las Vegas. I love older women – 31.

Now, you may already know what your DatingDamn is, but the most important step is getting to the why of your DatingDamn. I see this again and again with my dating therapy clients. Until they understand why and can deconstruct it, they keep repeating this pattern!

Dating Tip #2: Get Clear On Your Needs

Once you uncover your DatingDamns and why you are drawn to them, it starts to unblock energy and focus and gives you space to get the dating energy flowing in a new direction. So, now is a great time to get clear on exactly where you want that energy flowing.

What do you really need and want? There might be some things from that old DatingDamn that you truly need and want in your life, but in a healthier dynamic. Or maybe the ideal that you *thought* you wanted, actually isn’t a good fit for you. Now, you need to get clear and honest about what you really want.

Write it down. Draw it out. Make a fun collage or vision board. And look for the spots where you might even have competing needs that could be keeping you feeling stuck. This is where having an outside person can be so incredibly helpful. They can often see things from a perspective that you can’t and help you get crystal clear. That person could be a dating therapist, or even a good friend that you trust.

Dating Tip #3: Stop Doing What Isn’t Working

As you start to allow your energy to flow in the direction of what you really want, and you stop pouring your energy towards old patterns that don’t serve you — things may start to get uncomfortable.

Ever heard about those concrete dams that have been in place for a long time and they start to fail, and there is an entire city in the line of the natural flow of the river? When the energy gets unblocked it is going to take you in directions that might start to “inundate” or impact some old habits, places, or patterns that you feel REALLY comfortable in.

Much of the reason we get stuck in unsatisfying places is that they are familiar, and therefore comfortable, while the new and unfamiliar can feel very unsettling. But you want something new in your life, right? This is the path. It will be incredibly tempting to put the DatingDamn back in place and go back to the old, familiar pattern that feels so comfortable. Try to stay conscious of that temptation and tendency.

Moving through those uncomfortable moments and letting the flow guide you to new ways of being, doing, and relating is where the real magic happens! That is where you start to connect with people more aligned with what you want for your life, and start to relate in a way that leaves you open to creating a deep, bonded connection, and can give you new insight to more easily move away from or say no to connections that don’t serve your true vision.

A few years ago, Forbes estimated that there are more than 8,000 dating sites in the world, and that number gets bigger each and every day. It seems like a new Black dating service launches all time, so it can be difficult to keep up with the best online resources in the dating scene.

That’s where we come in.

Our online dating experts love testing out a new dating app or dating website to see if it has what it takes to inspire real relationships, and we’ve got some dating tips to share with Black singles who are currently on the market.

Trying to find the right Black dating service for you can take a lot of time, and it can be stressful because of all the options out there. But our Black dating site reviews can help you focus on the best of the best and join dating sites with proven track records, great success rates, and intelligent matchmaking systems.

Here are some things to look out for when choosing a Black dating site, interracial dating site, or any type of online dating site where local Black folks can mingle and find their perfect match.

1. Large Black Singles Membership Base

The saying “bigger is better” isn’t true in every circumstance, but it does offer good advice for online daters in the Black community. When it comes to online dating, bigger can be better because it means more potential match options and chat opportunities.

Signing up for a Black dating site with a lot of members is the best way to increase your chances of meeting that perfect hookup, local date, or potential partner. We’re talking millions here, not just thousands. The dating experience boils down to a simple numbers game, really.

Real talk: The more people you meet, the more likely you are to meet the right person and fall in love. Just be aware that perfect match may not be everything you imagined.

You may think you know what your type is, but you should always keep in mind that true love can be surprising. It doesn’t always have the skin tone, ethnicity, background, or personality you envisioned. Keep in mind that your own racial bias could limit your love options and cause you to miss out on something great. If you’re focused solely on dating within the Black community, you could miss out on a white woman or Asian man who could make you really happy.

Online dating has actually contributed to an increase in interracial marriage in the U.S., and that’s something to be proud of.

The larger the user base on a dating site, the more likely you are to encounter diverse list of folks who share similar interests, racial backgrounds, and relationship goals. We’ve ranked some of the most popular dating sites for African American singles looking to meet people on their terms.

Top Overall Black Dating Website: Match.com

Match.com is our favorite dating website for Black singles because of its sheer size. I mean, it’s almost ridiculous the reach that Match has — over 13.5 million daters visit the site every month, with about 1.2 million of them identify as a Black single.

Match is available in 50 countries, and it’s widely considered one of the best African American dating sites for seeking a serious relationship.

If you’re a Black man or a Black woman seeking love, then this online dating site will support you every step of the way. Its personality-driven matching has what it takes to identify potential matches within moments of creating a profile, and you can even send greetings and responses for free to users in your Top Picks list.

Best Black Dating App: Zoosk

You may have expected Tinder to be ranked among our top dating apps for Black men and Black women, and we do think it’s an effective option. However, Zoosk.com has been around five years longer than Tinder, and it has more experience and success stories to back its behavioral matchmaking.

One reason we like Zoosk is that it can integrate perfectly with your social media, daily routine, and mobile dating patterns. The dating app began as a dating site in 2007, and it has been winning singles of all ages and backgrounds over ever since. Zoosk is now available in more than 25 languages and 80 countries, so you can expect to meet a lot of different types of people on this platform.

Zoosk is both a dating site and a dating app. That is another upside it has over online dating apps like Tinder which lack a desktop interface or computer login. Zoosk has both desktop and mobile versions available, thus making it easier for people to date however they want and whenever they want.

Black Christian Dating Site: Christian Mingle

Race and religion can be incredibly important factors in the dating scene, and we highly recommend using Christian Mingle if you want to meet a Black person of faith. Thanks to its niche membership base, you’re guaranteed to meet more Black Christian singles on Christian Mingle than on any other online dating service.

Christian Mingle has over 15 million members, and all of them are looking for a Christian partner to hopefully spend their forever with. Marriage is on the minds of most people who join Christian Mingle, so you can quickly cut to the chase and vet your date prospects according to what matters most to you.

The Christian Mingle dating network is open to people of all religious backgrounds, ethnic backgrounds, and sexual orientations, so you’ll always find a warm welcome (not to mention a good Christian date) here.

Black Gay & Lesbian Dating Site: Black People Meet

One of the best dating sites where Black singles meet, mingle, date, and find love is the aptly-named BlackPeopleMeet.com, which is open to gay, straight, lesbian, and transgender daters.

When you sign up to Black People Meet, you can identify yourself as a “man seeking men” or a “woman seeking women” to make sure LGBTQ date options show up in your inbox. A single Black man can browse anonymously under a username to keep his identity private.

This Black dating service is the largest of its kind in the U.S. and Canada, and it encourages singles to go outside their comfort zone to find a long-distance friendship or serious relationship with a person of color.

Best Over 40 Black Dating Site: eharmony

If you’re over the age of 40, you’re probably over the swiping scene and fed up with casual dating. Perhaps you feel it’s time to get serious and join a relationship-driven dating site like eharmony.

Since its launch in 2000, eharmony has distinguished itself as one of the best dating platforms for finding a soul mate or a long-lasting love. Its lengthy personality test includes over 80 questions developed by psychologists to determine which users have the best relationship compatibility.

The eharmony matchmaking system is designed to prioritize who you are and what you want in a potential partner, so you can specify that you’re hoping to meet a Black partner (or a white person, or an Asian person, or whatever you prefer), and the algorithm will focus on delivering some great potential matches.

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The eharmony dating site and app has led the way with its intelligent matchmaking system, and it creates a new love connection every 14 minutes.

Best Dating Website for Black Seniors: OurTime

OurTime.com is a Black senior dating site that proves dating can be just as fun and romantic in your seniors years as it was when you were in your 20s.

The website sees more than 1.4 million visitors a month, and it’s steadily gaining even more popularity among Black and biracial daters. While a majority of members are over 50, it’s also worth noting that singles of all ages are allowed to join if your preferred age range is a little broader.

OurTime is a free dating site dedicated to connecting seniors with their happily-ever-after stories, and it’s got everything you need to meet someone new. Just create a free profile, upload your favorite photo of yourself, and you can start expanding your reach in the local dating scene.

Best Dating Sites for Black Women: Soul Singles

An African American dating site like Soul Singles is perfect for Black women hoping to meet black men in the same city, state, or country. The online dating service includes search filters, match suggestions, and instant chatting features to get something going between men and women in the Black dating scene.

The Soul Singles dating network has created more than 4.5 million love connections since its launch, and it has the vetting and privacy tools to help all single women, including Black women, white women, and Asian women, feel safe as they mix and mingle online.

Top Casual Dating & Sex Site: BeNaughty

Sometimes people just want to hook up, and there’s no shame in that. That’s where BeNaughty.com comes in. Sexy Black women and sexy Black men have flocked to this hookup site because they don’t have to put on a charade — everyone’s on the same page.

The BeNaughty platform offers unlimited free communication between every member with a valid profile picture, and its match suggestions make it easier to find a local person in the mood for a fling, a one-night stand, and straight-up sex.

BeNaughty offers Black single men and women a level playing field for pursuing their passions, kinks, and fantasies, and it’s open 24/7 for sexy singles looking to explore their feelings with someone special.

Dating Service for a Black Professional: Elite Singles

EliteSingles.com is one of the best dating sites for single Black professionals because over 67% of members hold either a bachelor’s, master’s, or doctorate degree.

Besides being surrounded by some of the smartest people in the world, a Black person be able to date more safely and efficiently on Elite Singles — thanks to the one-of-a-kind Fraud Detection System and personality questionnaire.

Elite Singles can shake things up in the online dating scene by empowering single professionals to choose dates based on their own standards. You can pick your preferred age range, ethnicity, income, height, and other important attributes in your ideal romantic partner, and the sophisticated algorithm will get hunting on your behalf until it finds the perfect match.

If you’re a Black professional, our dating experts highly recommend creating a free profile on Elite Singles to take your dating experience up a notch. You won’t be able to see photos or send messages with a free membership, but you will be able to use the search filters and assess profiles to see what’s what on the dating site.

Best Website for Interracial Dating: Black People Meet

Finally, not every Black single is dead-set on sticking to their own race or ethnicity when seeking a compatible date or potential partner. In fact, some singles are hoping to color outside the lines, so to speak, and go outside the Black community to meet a white person, an Asian person, a Hispanic person, or a mixed person who is open to dating a Black partner and forming an interracial relationship or interracial marriage.

If interracial dating is your goal, then Black People Meet is about as good as it gets. Everyone registered on this Black dating service is looking for a date with a darker skin tone, but not everyone is necessarily Black or even biracial. The result is that Black People Meet actually does more than just help Black people meet — it can help a white man meet a Black woman or a Black man meet an Asian woman. There’s nothing holding you back from an interracial relationship with this free membership plan.

Black People Meet is a free dating site with ethnicity search filters, lots of free matching tools, and a diverse user base, so it’s an excellent choice for interracial dating.

2. High Success Rate for Meeting Black Singles

Now, one of the most common questions we get from singles, Black, white, Asian, or otherwise, is: Does online dating really work? Can a dating site actually introduce me to real people? Our answer is yes on both counts! Many a success story has come out of the online dating world.

Not only do our top picks have the numbers on their side, but they’re also the most successful in the dating space. These top-ranked sites have led Black singles to more hookups, dates, relationships, and marriages than any of their competitors. Match.com alone has one of the best success rates in the online dating scene, and it has proven it works time and time again. The site is currently responsible for the birth of more than 1 million babies — and counting.

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Tinder claims to have created over 60 billion matches since 2012, and it leads to over 1.5 million first dates each week.

The eharmony dating site is basically a relationship machine that has engineered over 2 million lasting connections between couples in the U.S. It has also been deemed one of the most trustworthy dating sites in a nationwide survey.

All these dating sites and apps have an amazingly high success rate, and that is reassuring for anyone who’s wondering if they’ll actually land a hot date or find a serious relationship online. It is possible, and it’s even highly likely because studies show that nearly 22% of today’s newlyweds have met their spouse on a dating site or app.

3. Matchmaking & Search Filters by Race, Including Interracial

All of our dating site recommendations have tons of features that will help Black singles on their way to true love. However, perhaps the most important feature is the one allowing you to specify the race you’re looking for (from Black to Caucasian to Asian to Latino to many more) and sort your match results by your desired ethnicity or ethnicities. Sometimes these filters are adjustable and transparent, and sometimes they are built into the match algorithm based on the person’s swiping history.

Black dating websites have advanced matchmaking algorithms that will do the searching for an app user and deliver match suggestions based on observed preferences and compatibility principles.

A site like Elite Singles can deliver a curated list of the potential matches, so you don’t have to do a lot of browsing or searching to find the one for you. Simply input what you’re looking for in terms of age, height, distance, ethnicity, education, and other important factors, and the dating site is on the hunt for the ideal match.

Most dating sites and apps will have some sort of algorithmic matchmaking system, and it’s a good idea to look behind the scenes to determine how it creates matches, which factors it prioritizes, and if there are any ethnicity search filters or preferences that give you a say in who shows up in your top picks.

If you consider yourself a selective dater, then having more search filters will be to your benefit. If you’d rather just match and chat with people and see where things go, then maybe a more hands-off dating experience on a swiping is more your style.

4. Free Dating Trial Features

We could tell you everything you need to know about online dating sites, but you’ll never really know if it can meet your needs until you test it out for yourself. The good news is that pretty much 100% of Black dating sites and apps are free to join, and most offer a free membership rather than a free trial period so you can always browse and search for free.

The dating services on this list all provide some type of all-inclusive free membership package to help singles explore their options, get their bearings, and decide if a full paid membership is in their best interest. What all that means is you can join a Black dating site for free, and you don’t have to provide your credit card, PayPal account, or any payment details at all to browse for dates in the online dating scene.

Some totally free dating sites like OkCupid and Plenty of Fish as well as free dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge will offer free communication to all users, and that’s an even better deal for online daters on the budget. However, sometimes it’s worth touring a premium dating site like Match or Elite Singles to meet more quality-driven people who are willing to shell out some cash on their dates.

5. Access to Dating Apps & Chat Lines

Dating apps have become enormously popular among all singles, and for a good reason. Whether it’s for work or fun, most of us are on our phones a good portion of the day, which is why apps have become almost a necessity in dating and life in general. Conveniently, our best Black dating sites are also our best Black dating apps, and they can offer the same online dating experience but from a more convenient and mobile-friendly interface.

Because these apps let you search by location, you can now meet local Black singles when you’re in line at Starbucks, on your work commute, or having drinks at your favorite bar. Not to mention you’ll have access to chat features that allow you to talk in real time and get to know potential matches on a deeper level before you get together in person.

Having a dating app can help singles turn matches into conversations and dates because they can keep in touch with the most promising date prospects without missing a beat. Your phone will send you a notification whenever someone sends you a message or likes you back, so you can strike while the iron is hot, as they say, and make the most of that opportunity to instantly connect with someone nearby.

6. Reputation Among African-Americans & Reviewers

It’s important to sign up for a Black dating site with a good reputation because the disreputable sites and apps can give you headaches by highlighting fake profiles and false promises. You need a dating site that will live up to its words and deliver real-life date prospects and potential matches that can go the distance. That’s what our dating site reviews are all about.

Dating is such a personal thing, so we take what we do very seriously. We won’t ever suggest a dating site that we haven’t tried out for ourselves or whose team we haven’t met or spoken with. We also take user feedback and reviews into consideration (a lot of consideration, actually), and from what we hear, these are the most popular Black dating websites out there — as well as the most trustworthy ones available.

Be sure to look at user reviews, testimonials, and success stories on dating sites and apps before you join. African American singles who feel some type away about the platform are usually quick to express their thoughts, talk about their experiences, and explain why the site did or did not work for them.

7. Security and Safety Measures

It’s perfectly natural for singles to have safety concerns as they enter the large and overwhelming world of online dating. Meeting a stranger can be nerve-wracking because you don’t always know what that person’s intentions are and if he or she can be trusted, but you shouldn’t let those fears and worries from holding you back from meeting a potential match who is the real deal and worth bringing into your life.

Dating sites can offer safety features to keep things on the up and up, ensuring that scammers, spammers, cybercriminals, and fake profiles keep clear of the membership base. One of the most important tools in the online dating toolkit is the report and blocking feature. This empowers members to provide instant feedback and let the dating service know when someone is behaving inappropriately.

You can flag someone’s dating profile for any reason — harassing messages, sexually explicit content, nude photos, fake contant, racial slurs, or general inappropriate behavior — and the moderators will take action from there to block or ban the member the situation dictates.

Most dating platforms don’t have the resources to do a thorough background check on new members, but sometimes it will verify names, birthdates, photos, and other personal details through a social media platform like Facebook. That can add a layer of trust to the dating profiles online, and it can also make the signup process go a little more quickly.

It’s always best to use caution when meeting a new person online, and trust your gut if something feels off. Most people are on dating sites and apps looking for love and a healthy relationship, but sometimes a few bad apples slip in and can cause trouble. Take immediate action to block anyone who threatens your personal safety or hampers your dating experience, and always let the dating platform know about any concerning issues you encounter so that the team can ensure it doesn’t happen again to anyone else.

8. Responsive Customer Service

Speaking of contacting the team, that’s another good quality to look for a in a legit dating site. The best ones will give you access to a phone number, customer service help line, email address, or live chat feature where you can ask questions and get help from a trained professional in the online dating space.

This can be particularly helpful for a single man or woman who is new to online dating and therefore may not know exactly how it works. Members can send a quick message to get guidance on how to match with someone, what safety precautions to use, and what features come with a free and paid membership deal. Many dating services employ a customer support team to advise single people as they match, chat, and date.

So, as you can see, Black singles are not alone in the online dating scene. They have a host of experts who can help make things easier and more enjoyable.

9. No Fake Profiles or Inactive Accounts

This is a complaint we see a lot from users on free dating sites and apps. They claim that there are too many fake profiles or inactive accounts keeping them from making a serious connection. These negative reviews often say it’s a waste of time to send messages or create matches, even for free, in this spaces because the profiles are fake and never respond or lead to anything substantial.

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That’s a valid concern for a Black single person, but you should always take such claims with a grain of salt. Sometimes an online dater doesn’t get many matches or responses because his or her profile is incomplete or poorly worded, or maybe the person just isn’t good at writing an attractive first message. Or that person may live in a small rural area where the dating pool is naturally thinner, so that could account for someone receiving very little online attention.

Still, singles should be on the lookout to make sure that the dating site and app of their choice is reputable and therefore removes, hides, or deletes outdated and sketchy profiles. One free membership and a quick glance through the user base should tell you everything you need to know about if a dating site has real people or not.

Choose a Black Dating Site That Can Measure Up

Percentage Of Black In Usa

When you start looking for a good Black dating site, it may shock you to see how many great options you have. There are literally thousands of dating services out there. Some are general dating sites and apps for all types of singles, while others are niche dating platforms that promote special interests. Black dating sites maintain a free and empowering space where people of color can come into their own.

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But how do you pick the right Black dating site? Don’t stress about it. We’ve narrowed it all down to the best of the best for you. We have done our homework and promise these Black dating sites are the cream of the crop. These sites will help you meet your casual dating or serious relationship goals. Take a good look at our list and the info we’ve provided, and make sure you take advantage of the free memberships and free trials available. Happy dating!